No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
