And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
