so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize