i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
