So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
