At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize