if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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