ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
