As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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