What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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