the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
