pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
