they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize