we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've blown a few things in my day
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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