We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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