in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
how drunk are you?
Several
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize