You really coming over, don't trick.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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