so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
