Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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