Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
