In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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