In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
