I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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