You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
