I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
