Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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