please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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