Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wear drunk well.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
