Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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