Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
