is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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