The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize