i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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