but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
