i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
