I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
