if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
