My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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