you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize