You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
