you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
