Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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