hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
