Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
