Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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