take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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