oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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