im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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