True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
