My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
