Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
