i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm both gender and math confused
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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