Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
