Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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