Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You can't motorboat a personality
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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