Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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