Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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