McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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