the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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