You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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