belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
