Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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