I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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