But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
