i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
