I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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