This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
