Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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