Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I AM VODKA MAN
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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