Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
