Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
