i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
