Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
