My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
