Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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