Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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