It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
