dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
