girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
BRING THE BAGELS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
