Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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