Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
