Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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