i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
